*day 5...

pretty boring day...

with a lot of vacant time...

dunno what to do...

but somehow...

i managed to realize something different in her face today...

her eyes looked so red...

gosh...

looks like she's been droping her tears all night long...

i asked her...

she said yes...

then i asked why ??..

she refuse to tell me...

i kept pushing her to answer me ...

at the end...

she ended up lying to me...

she said that it was in the morning her eyes got dizzy...

so she scratch over it...

it was a "bull" right...

i know deep inside...

she was hurt..

by whatsoever....

man...

what can i do to help her ??...

i was just standing there..

refusing to accept what she said to me...

it was like trying to eat something inedible...

i really really don't want to see her cryin right now...

somewhere it hurts...

i feel like ..

i wanna cry with her...

stays with her in the very darkest moment in her life...

to be her strength...

but...

i can't do nothing...

i just pray that God would take my place...

and i know HE does...

still...

i want to be the one to cheer her up...

because...

hearing the joyful sound of her..

brings "life" back to my life....

anyways...

it's almost one week trough the struggle...

yeahhhh..

i'm still waiting....

but first...

i want to retreat and do some instropection of what i've been doing this week...

about what i've been through...

about the inaudible pain inside...

about this totally hurtful week...

but afterall..

just like what i always said to her...

"try to smile & cheer up!!!"...^^